One summer in high school, one of my friends and I had the brilliant idea to carve a watermelon and leave it as a gift for someone. We got the most beautiful watermelon we could find. We were looking forward to scooping out the insides pumpkin-style and devouring them to fuel our artistic ideas.
My friend took a bite and scrunched her nose. "I don't think this tastes right."
I slowly chewed, trying desperately use my imagination to transform the flavor into something a little more watermelon-y. At last I conceded, "Yeah, it tastes fermented."
Since we couldn't eat it, we decided it wasn't worth the effort to scoop the whole thing out, so we just carved a face in it. Nasty foot-scented watermelon juice trickled out of the eyes and gushed out of the nose.
We left it by the front door at our friend's house. Unfortunately, her family was on vacation, so they didn't find the melon until 3 days later when it was moldy and caved in and had left a permanent stain on their front porch.
We always thought "Watermelon Nosebleed" would be an awesome name for a band. We would have hit songs like "Sex and Lunchables" on our platinum album entitled "Llama Llama." Sadly, we didn't have any musical talent other than being able to play the tambourine.....
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