She'll Scare the Hell Out of You

When we were growing up, our church had a Children's Choir director.  I guess you could say she was a little fanatical about religion and Jesus. She terrorized many little children with her screeching voice and horn-rimmed glasses that gave her stern face an especially sinister frown. Here's a collection of some of the crazy stuff she told us:


She told Joe that the devil in him when he had a cold.

When Matt got a new puppy, one of its ears was floppy. Most people would think this is adorable, but according to her, "It's a sign that your dog is possessed by the devil. You should return it immediately and get a dog that is wholesome in the eyes of God."

Corinne says, "She turned 'This Little Light of Mine' into a horror show by putting a devilish emphasis on 'DON'T LET SATAN POOF IT OUT!' I'm pretty sure I remember her eyes bugging out of her head and steam rolling out of her ears."

From Lauren S: "She told us that the day you die is a Big Black X on the calendar of your life. And then that guy had a heart attack in the middle of service and Becky was like,  "HIS X CAME UP!!!"

She said, "Nothing bad has ever happened to my family because we are so close to God." Then her husband died...

She told us, "You MUST end your prayers with, 'IN JESUS NAME, AMEN.' If you don't pray in Jesus' name, God will not listen to your prayers."

From Nick: "I remember her telling us that people would hide under your car at the Venture parking lot and cut your Achilles tendon so you can't run away and then steal your car. Good advice for young children."

From Becky: "I remember when John and Nick wanted to quit choir. They made their mom tell her. I remember seeing Nick hiding in that little elevator shaft because he was scared of her. I'd be scared, too. Those eyes will put a curse on you for sure!"

She owned a shop that sold swimming gear, so I had the distinct pleasure of seeing her after she left Arcadia. I got a t-shirt one time that said "Property of Swim Team" and she told me, "Now, it's a good quality shirt, but just remember you are really property of God."

From Monica: When I saw her at Rob's wedding, the first thing she asked was not "Oh, how have you been, what are you doing, how's the family?"
No, it was "Have you found Jesus?"
I mean, Jesus is always the last place you look, but I never lost him. I just told her "Yes, ma'am."
"How about your family?"
"Yes."
"Oh, good! I really tried to teach you kids about Jesus!"
She had previously told one of our parents that she tried to teach the kids about Jesus since Arcadia was not a "Bible-preaching church."