Bar Bathrooms

Bar bathrooms are the location of some of the most interesting/entertaining/bitchy conversations you will ever hear.

I went out on Saturday, and the theme of the night was "Stalls That Do Not Lock." Starting with the bathroom door at my apartment. This is why I lock Sally up during parties. Because as soon as a door is shut, she has to go push it open.

But I digress.

So. What do you do when the stall does not lock? You hold it shut, right? Some girls do not know this.

I was in my stall in a modified football stance to keep the door shut, and the other stall was occupied by a barfer.

This other girl walks into the bathroom and announces, "Ummm, so I have to pee, like, really bad. Just so you know. If you can just hurry, that would be great. So you know."

I finished up and walked out of the stall and washed my hands. She gets into the stall and says, "Ummmmm, how do I close this door?!"

"Oh, it doesn't lock."

"It doesn't?"

"Nope."

"Ummm, then how am I going to keep it shut?!"

"Uh, I'll hold it for you."

"Okay, thank you sooooooooo much. I didn't know what to do. I'll be done in just, like, twoooooo minutes.......Ummm, why do I hear my boyfriend talking to someone else? He's gonna get it."

When she came out of the stall, she commented, "Ummm, there's a girl in there that is not okay. (indicating the barfer). I can hear her in there. And she is not okay."


My only regret with this post is that I'm too lazy to figure out how to put audio up, so you can't hear the inflection that she had. It was great.