Food on Fifteen

I could talk about food for approximately 67% of my day. (The rest is spent sleeping).

Fortunately, I work with people who can do the same. We like to send emails to our Head Chef, "Justin Thyme," and give him meal suggestions. I think the baked potato bar was a big hit.

Fabulous things happen when we get our heads together. And we got started on lunch at 9am on Friday with Christine boldly stating, "Right now, I really just want a burrito pizza, an over-easy egg, and greasy french fries with sour cream."

So we ordered Chinese. We had to use a cart to bring it all up to the unit, there was so much food. As we boarded the elevator with our loot, Christine said, "Protect me, Lauren. People will mug you for this shit. We might have an uprising in this elevator." It wouldn't have surprised me. I've seen crazier things happen.

In fact, I wouldn't put it past myself to mug someone for food. When I get hungry, I transform into a purple-eyed monster with gnashing teeth.

We stuffed ourselves with fried rice and egg rolls. (Except for Social Worker Liz, who declared, "I don't like egg rolls. They confuse me.") We were all about in food comas. And the fabulous thing about Chinese is that we would all be able to repeat this cycle at least 2 more times before running out of food!

"I want to punch someone," announced Christine, "I am sooooooo full."

Five minutes later, "My boobs are full! I just popped a button!"

To top it all off, one of the patients was spritzing coconut body spray on all of her peers, which made the unit smell like a coconut vagina.